Mark Chapter 6

Mark Chapter 6

Jesus returns home to Nazareth! Hurray, welcome home Jesus!

But, oh no, when that old Sabbath day comes around and JC goes to the synagogue to teach and everyone is shocked! What nerve, they say. Aren't you just that Mary's carpenter son? Aren't you the brother of James, Joses, Juda and Simon? Don't your sisters live here? They were super offended that he'd dare to try to teach them anything (presumably other than woodworking).

Well, Jesus, not to be outdone, gets his own indignation on! He is a prophet but he's only treated badly in his own home around his own family! It’s horrendous! Obviously, he was pretty upset and couldn’t really get any major work done in that town. He healed a couple of sick folk and went around to teach in the villages, but was stunned by the disbelief of those he had grown up around. I think JC is being a little sensitive here, it’s pretty tough for people who have known you as a child to really accept that you’ve become an adult, especially when in your adult years you’ve taken to teaching things that go against everything they’ve ever learned.

But, JC’s a sensitive guy, so he calls his disciples to him and tells them to go out into the world in groups of two. He gives them the power to cure the possessed and tells them that they shouldn’t take anything on this little mission other than a staff; no scrip (no idea, maybe a pre-written script??), no bread, and no money. He wants them only to wear sandals and one coat, he specifically prohibits them from wearing two coats.

While they’re off in the world he wants them to go to people’s houses and stay in them until they’re ready to leave. If anyone won’t receive them or hear them (you know already what a big deal hearing is to JC), the disciples are supposed kick the dust from under their feet “for a testimony against them”. And here’s where Jesus gets a little gory for my taste… he tells them that Sodom and Gomorrha are going to look like a cakewalk compared to what the city with foot dirt is going to go through on judgment day. Eep! And that’s just for people who don’t want strangers crashing at their house.

(For those of you unfamiliar with the old testament… Sodom and Gomorrah are two cities full of sinners that the Lord rains fire and brimstone upon and destroys when Lot can’t find enough righteous people inside them to move God to leniency).

The disciples, naturally, go out and do just as Jesus commands (they’re totally a bunch of subservient sheep, but that’s probably just what JC was looking for in a posse). In their travels they manage to cast out devils, anoint some sick people with oil and healed them. All the while they’re preaching that men should repent. So, other than damning people who won’t let them in or chat with them, they’re not up to too much mischief.

King Herod hears of JC through the grapevine and absolutely freaks out as he’s completely convinced that John the Baptist had risen from the dead. As it turns out, he had recently beheaded our locust eating friend. (I warned you, didn’t I?) Other people try to tell him that it’s Elias (don’t ask me who that is), and others say it is either The prophet or one of the prophets. But Herod doesn’t buy any of that nonsense. He KNOWS it’s John.

It turns out that John was giving Herod’s wife Herodias a hard time, but not, as you might think, about marrying a dude with her own name. As it happens, Herodias used to be the wife of Herod’s brother Philip, and John subscribing to what I believe is a Levitical prohibition, kept harassing her saying that it was unlawful. She really wanted to kill him, but she couldn't.

Herod had just been holding John in prison, and as it would happen, he found that he kind of liked the guy. As far as he was concerned John was a just and holy man who had done some really fine things. He wasn’t moved enough to let him go, but he had no intention of killing him regardless of his wife’s opinion.

Unfortunately, one fine day, Herod threw a fabulous party for his own birthday and invited all the lords, high captains, and chiefs of Galilee to join him. Herodias’ daughter came in and danced for the king, and let me tell you, this guy was VERY fond of his niece’s routine (yeah, that sounds a bit sick to me, but whatever…) and he promises her anything she wants up to half his kingdom. Herodias’ daughter isn’t very greedy and doesn’t know what to ask for, but oh oh oh… Herodias does! She tells that kid to go up to her overly committed uncle and request the Baptist’s head. So she does, what does she care?

Herod instantly regrets the commitment. The thing is, fearing that John was as just and holy a man as he perceived, he was TERRIFIED. You just don’t murder that kind of person. God doesn’t like it. But a promise is a promise, especially one made in front of a crowded room. So away the executioner is sent and soon enough a head is brought back on a charger for the young lady. As a reasonable young person, she shoved it at her mother, who was the one who really wanted the gruesome gift. I’ve got to say, I feel pretty bad for the kid. Mom’s just shouldn’t use their daughters like that.

The disciples came and laid John's body to rest in a tomb. Then the apostle’s went to Jesus and told him all about what happened in the towns and what had happened to John. He tells his followers that they all need a rest because so much as been going on, off they fly to their ship to find a more deserted area.

But, a bunch of people from all over see him departing and run to catch up. Jesus feels bad and stops to spend a bit more time teaching, soon enough the day passed into night and by now everyone’s feeling SO so SO hungry.

JC tells his disciples to go grab some bread so the folks won’t have to scatter and find their own. His crew asks if they’re supposed to buy all these people bread, because… uh… there are a ton of them! Jesus asks what they have for food. They happen to have stashed five loaves of bread and two fish between all of them. Jesus thinks that’s plenty so he has everyone sit of the grass, where they sit in ranks by hundreds and fifties (see what I’m saying… there’s a LOAD of people). Jesus blesses the loaves and fishes and breaks the bread and gives it to his disciples, then divides up the fishes. They all eat and are stuffed good. Yummy!

Then they take the twelve baskets full of bread fragments and fish pieces and hand them around to the five thousand townspeople who were gathered on the hillside and everyone has enough to eat. Holy Moly, it’s a miracle! (I have to say, I’ve heard that story before, but I was still hoping for something a little more… I don’t know... dramatic. These were just people who didn’t want to go home for dinner, they weren’t exactly dying of starvation or something… eh, I’m disappointed).

After dinner, Jesus has his friends jump back on the ship and shove off to Bethsaida while he sends the lay people away. Jesus then goes to mountain to pray by himself. When he comes back down the ship is way out in the water and he can see how hard they’re struggling to row against the wind. JC decides to take an easier route and goes for a stroll right on top of the water! (OMG, this chapter contains like every story I’ve ever heard out of the new testament all in one place! Awesome!). Needless to say when they see him walking on water they kind of freak out and think it’s a ghost or something.

Jesus tells them not to worry, because it’s not a ghost, it’s just him, their old friend JC. No need to be frightened. He hops up into the boat and that troubling wind dies down. Everyone was again full of wonder and amazement. Go Jesus!

They arrive in Gennesaret (maybe on their way to Bethsaida) where everyone in the region had heard of him. They meet him on the shore with beds containing victims of various illnesses and any other malady they could think of. Wherever he went, he was greeted by more of the same, and Jesus healed them all!

Ohhh! That was a nice chapter, except for how something worse than fire and brimstone is going to happen to non-believers. That’s just mean.