Mark Chapter 15

Mark Chapter 15

In the morning, the chief priests had a consultation with the elders and scribes and in fact the whole council. They decide to tie up poor JC and drag him on down to Pilate (that must be my favorite Pontius).

Well, my friend Pilate asks JC, Are you the King of the Jews? And JC goes, you said it. (Literally, “Thou sayest [it].”)

Then the chiefs et al accused him of a bunch of things, but JC didn’t say anything in response.

Pilate asked him if he really had nothing to say against these many witnesses. But, JC said nothing. Which for unknown reasons caused Ponch to marvel.

Well, they have a big old feast and my friend Ponch offers to release one prisoner to them, and it would be whoever they wanted. Barabbas was one of the guys that was going to be murdered with Jesus, but he was a murderous insurrectionist (as opposed to JC who is only a religious insurrectionist). Then the multitude start moaning and groaning, I guess they want Pilate not to let anyone go. But Pilate presses them and asks if they would like him to release the King of the Jews, because he knew it was only out of spite that the priests brought him for crucifixion.

The priest tell the crowds that they should ask for Barabbas over JC. (Where are JC’s loyal friends when all this is going on? Probably sleeping again.)

Ponch asks them again what they want him to do with the King of the Jews.

All the crowd cried out… Crucify him!

But Pilate isn’t satisfied, what evil has he ever done to you?

But they don’t care… Crucify him! They yell.

Pilate is a servant of the people so he releases Barabbas to them and sent Jesus off to be scourged before they crucified him. The soldiers then took him into a hall called the Praetorium and call together a whole band. They clothed him in purple and put the famous crown of thorns on his head. Then they pretended to salute him and call him the King of the Jews. They hit his thorny head with a reed and spit on him. All the while they continue bowing and pretending to worship him. When they were finally done mocking him they took off his purple clock and put his own clothes back on him. Then it was finally time for the crucifixion.

Simon who was a Cyrenian (to differentiate him from Simon the Galilean sometimes known as Peter) was enlisted to bear JC’s cross. Poor guy, sucks to be him.

They brought the convicts to “The place of a skull” otherwise known as Golgotha. They tried to give him a drink of wine mingles with myrrh, but he wouldn’t take it. (I imagine that would act as kind of a light sedative. Sort of nice of them all things considered). We recall that JC said earlier, no more wine for him until he’s in heaven.

They string the fellas up on their respective crosses and take their garments which they give to the masses to take.

Okay, I guess now it’s in the third hour that they crucify him, although literally the sentence before that Mark just told us that they had already crucified him. Whatever, it’s not a great work of literature, it’s just the bible, right?

They right a nice sign that says “King of the Jews”, which I guess was his crime, because I think normally they write things like “Thief” or “Murderer” or whatever. Probably Pontius was unclear about what the crime actually was so that little mocking at least amused him.

Well, hanging out (ha… get it) with JC were two thieves, one of each side of him. Finally the scripture was fulfilled as it had said that “he was numbered with the transgressors”. Is this old testament scripture? Am I going to have to go back and translate that whole book too? Shoot.

A bunch of people that passed by the dying man jeered at him saying, oh lookie lookie, you’re that one that was going to destroy the temple and build it in three days. If you can do that, why not save yourself and come down from your cross?

All the priests got in on the action saying, what’s the matter with him? He saved others, can’t he save himself? They yelled at him to let Christ the King of Israel descend from his cross so that all might see and believe in him. Even the thieves next to him hated him.

In the sixth hour of hanging it got dark, and so it was over the land until the ninth hour (short night, no?). In the ninth hour Jesus cried out (careful, this part is sad… really sad), “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which according to the King James bible 1769 edition translates to “My God, my god, why hast thou forsaken me?” Oh JC, are you sure this was the plan from the beginning. Are you sure you really believe that you are the son of god. Couldn’t you just be a guy with some new ideas about religion? Maybe you wouldn’t have had to die for all that.

Well some people still standing around (sickos, I guess, who would hang out to watch someone slowly and horrifically die) heard him. “Behold, he calleth Elias” they said. I’m a little confused, I thought Elias was John the Baptist. Is Eloi, Elias? That does sound closer, but King James told me it says God. Ergh. Confusing. Why would he call Elias anyway?

Questions I will likely never get answers to. Continuing with the tale… For some reason someone decides to fill a sponge with vinegar and put it on a reed to give to Jesus to drink (Ick!). Then the same fellow says, let’s see whether Elias comes to take him down or not.

JC has had enough (who can blame him, vinegar being shoved in my face would be the last straw for me to). He lets out a mighty roar and “gave up the ghost”.

“The veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom”… can’t figure that line out.

A centurion who was watching saw his mighty scream and successive passing on and said that this man must have been the Son of God. Along with the centurion there were some women watching, among them the famous Mary’s both JC’s mom (otherwise known as the mother of James the less… unfortunate title… and of Joses, and Salome… but not Herod’s niece Salome) and the Magdalene. Apparently it wasn’t mentioned until now but when JC was in Galilee these fine ladies followed him and ministered to him. How nice. Many other women were also in the crowd that came up with him from Jerusalem.

Now, evening comes and it is the day before the Sabbath. Joseph of Arimathaea went boldly to Pilate and asked to take the body of Jesus. Pilate was surprised that Jesus had died so quickly (gross, was he supposed to starve to death or something?). He calls a centurion and confirms that he’s dead then agrees to give the body to Joseph.

Joseph brings linen and takes the body where he wraps it etc… and lays it in a sepulcher which was made from a rock and he rolled a stone in front of the door. The Mary’s saw where he was laid.