Mark Chapter 12

Mark Chapter 12

Oh yeay! JC starts us with, what? You guessed it, more parables! Hurray! The clearest way of getting your point across!

This parable is about a landowner who creates a fine vineyard and rented it out to some caretakers. He heads off into the country trusting that his lands are in good hands he’ll be able to collect rent from afar. As the harvest season comes around the owner sends a servant to collect the fruit from the caretakers.

Turns out these are not such trustworthy guys and they beat up the servant and cast him out of the vineyard. Then the owner sends another guy who gets stones thrown at his head and away he is sent. Then another kid is sent, and by now this is getting to be a really dangerous job, he gets killed. The owner doesn’t learn his lesson he sends more and more servants and one after another they guy either beat up or killed.

Finally the owner has had enough, so he send his beloved only son thinking that at last they will have respect for his messenger. Turns out they see this kid and for unknown reasons decide that if they kill him, they’ll receive the inheritance. They, like everyone else in the bible are not using excellent logic. Why would someone give you their land when you just killed their son?

Jesus asks his flock what they think the owner will do. But before they can answer he fills them in, the owner will come and destroy these villains and find some new folks to give the vineyards to.

Naturally this leads right into the obvious lesson, “The stone which the builders rejected is become the head of the corner”. Ummm, totally. So, in the case of the owner and the ruffians who is the rejected stone? Not sure, probably not the dead son.

Apparently, “this was the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eye?” I guess JC isn’t sure if it is marvelous to us because there is a question mark there. Also, I’m not sure if the rejected son becoming the head of the corner is the lord’s doing, or if it’s the destroyed ruffians. Maybe both, who can say (probably biblical scholars, but I’m not sure I trust those guys).

Okay wait, I think maybe it becomes clearer here. So, the priest, et al want to grab JC and arrest him, but they’re afraid of the flock. They knew he had spoken the parable against them. Okay, so in this case the vineyard was the church or the religion, the ruffians were the priests, scribes, Pharisees, etc…, all the servants were profits, and JC is the murdered son. So god, being the owner is going to come and destroy the priests, et al and give his church/religion to JC’s flock. Wow! By George I think I’ve got it! As for the rejected stone… um… must be JC.

Well the priests and scribes and Pharisees picked up on that a lot faster than I did, and they decide to split. But they send back a few of Pharisees and Herodians to try to catch him saying something that they can use against him.

These clever little monkeys go humbly to him and flatter him by telling him that they know he is true, and that he doesn’t care about the things of man but only to teach the word of god. So, they ask him if it is lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not?

Without reading ahead I seem to recall and expression that I never thought came from the bible that said, give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. Let’s see how close I get it…

JC knows these guys are up to no good, so he tells them to bring him a penny so he can look at it. He asks them whose face is on it. They’re like, duh, Caesar’s who else?

And he says… dun dun dun… “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s…” woo hoo, I was pretty darn close, “and to God the things that are God’s.”

Wow, said his flock. JC is marvelous. Whoa, said the Herodians, this guy is clever.

Then the Sadducees try their hand at tripping up the son of man, and they tell him that there will be no resurrection. They then question him regarding the true meaning of incest. Moses wrote for them that if a man’s brother dies without fathering children, then the brother should marry his wife and have children with her for his dead bro. (I think we know how John the Baptist feels about marrying your brother’s wife… although Herodias did already have children, so maybe there’s some kind of a loophole).

So, the conundrum that they present goes something like:

There were seven brother and the first took a wife, but he died without children. They second married her, but also died without children. This happened to the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh. Finally the woman also died and none had any children.

So, in the resurrection, when everyone is risen (I guess we’re talking about the rapture now, not just Jesus’ personal resurrection), whose wife will she be since she had been lawfully the wife of each brother?

Oooo, good one Sadducees! That’s the kind of question I love asking people!

JC has an answer for everything. He tells them that they’re stupid not to know the answer, it clearly indicates that they have not read the scriptures nor do they know the power of his papa. The answer is… when folks rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven.

This news is going to be deeply disappointing to my mother who was sincerely looking forward to being reunited with my dead father in heaven. I think I’ll skip this wonderful biblical passage and just let her keep the beautiful idea that someday she will meet with her true love once again.

JC then tells these guys that his pappy is not the God of the dead but of the living. Funny, I thought he was the god of all things. So, who’s the god of the dead then?

Well, the Sadducees don’t care, they are pretty happy with his answer. But, they have another question. Which is the first commandment, they ask.

Jesus says that it is that there is only one true god and that everyone should love him with every little piece of himself. As it happens the first commandment actually only says “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” And that basically says that he’s just the best god, not the one and only, and there is certainly no mention of having to love him with all your heart and all that.

Then JC says that the second is “Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself.” Again, that’s even funnier to me because, as far as the King James Bible is concerned the second commandment is actually, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the water under the earth.” (Apparently god prefers we only make abstract art… I’m all for it. It’s my favorite kind). Anyway, for someone who was just making fun of people for not knowing the scripture, JC seems to only have a loose grip on the commandments.

Well the guy having this conversation with him is more impressed than I am, he says that Jesus is right about the whole loving god thing and loving your neighbor and this is all more important than burnt offerings and sacrifices.

Jesus warms up to this fellow and he quietly lets him know that this dude isn’t far from God’s kingdom. Well, no one else dared ask any more questions. (I’m not really clear why, it seems like I could pick apart his answers fairly easily).

But whatever, not everyone is as cynical as I happen to be. Jesus continues teaching in the temple. “How say the scribes that Christ is the Son of David?” he asks. I ask, uh… when did they say that?

No answer, again. Apparently David said through the Holy Ghost that God told Jesus to sit on his right side while he made his enemies into his footstools. Oh, that’s a nice daddy. David called JC lord and acknowledged his lineage. Well, all the commoners listening to this loved it. (Yeah, right, some weird story about David totally proves you are who you say you are.)

Now come some warnings:
Beware of scribes. You’ll recognize them because they love long clothes and they love salutations. (Hey me too! How you doing?)
Beware of the chief seats in synagogues and the uppermost rooms at feast. Why? Well they devour widows’ houses in the pretense of long prayers. You don’t say. Well these folks are going to be more damned than the others. Worse than the worms, you think?

Jesus moves over to sit near the treasury where he observes how people cast money in. Many that were rich cast in a lot. Good for them. Then a poor widow came (I hope her house hadn’t been devoured by the fake long prayers) and she threw in a farthing.

Jesus points out to his disciples that the poor widow gave a larger percent of her income than everyone else who through money in. She had given everything she had.

Wow, nice widow. Probably she should have saved it. This guy doesn’t even know the ten commandments.