Mark Chapter 14

Mark Chapter 14

After two days Passover began where they everyone eats unleavened bread (that’s important because it’s mentioned specifically). The chief priests and the scribes (maybe not the Pharisees this time) tried to think of a sneaky way to grab Jesus and put him to death. But after thinking about it they decided that killing someone, even a mortal enemy like JC might be a bad idea on a feast day, not because it’s wrong, but basically because the people would be in an uproar over it. Oh well, they’ll have to keep plotting. Spoiler alert, they get to kill JC in the end… he’s told us this what? Like a billion times?

Anyway, JC (I guess, they stopped using pronouns again) is in Simon the leper’s house in Bethany. He’s sitting at meat (which I presume is dinner) and there came a woman with an alabaster box filled with very precious spikenard oil. She breaks the box and pours the contents over JC (again no pronouns so that is a guess). Yuck, oil all over me while I’m eating dinner sounds gross!

Well, some of the folks that were there got pretty upset, apparently a box of spikenard is a valuable commodity. You can get upwards of three hundred pence at the market value of 0 BC. They say that the money gained could have been given to the poor (yeah, sure, that’s what they were thinking, give it to the poor…) Gripe as they might Jesus just wouldn’t see it their way. He says she did something nice for him. Afterall, the poor are always going to be around, JC has a limited time on earth. This lady did what she could by anointing his body for the burial (eeewwww! Morbid JC. Really morbid.)

He really liked this little act of being doused in expensive oil, so he tells his cronies and buds that whenever they preach the gospel around the world they should always include the story of what she did in memorial of her. Nice, and we can see from the fact that it is included in the King James bible that yet another wish of Jesus’ was carried out.

Then Judas Iscariot, who we already were told was going to betray Jesus does just this. He saunters on over to the chief priests and tells them that he’ll betray his buddy for some cash and boy were they glad to give it to them. Now Judas just had to think of a way to conveniently betray his not so close friend (I never heard them chatting like Peter and James and John and even lately young Andrew).

The first day of unleavened bread, “when they killed the Passover” (ick), JC’s friends asked him where he would prepare to eat the holiday feast.

He sends two disciples with the instructions that they should go into the city where they will meet a man with a pitcher who they should follow. Wherever he goes in, go in after him and find the caretaker of the house. They should ask him where the guestchamber is so that JC and the disciples can all eat Passover together. This guy will show them a large upper room that will be furnished and prepared for them. So, his friends head off and all is just as Jesus said it would be (as it normally is when you make early arrangements at a hotel).

That night all the disciples came to have their holiday meal. Jesus, never one to start on a positive note, says that one of them that’s eating dinner with them on that very night will betray him. Everyone was so sad. They started asking him one by one if they were the betrayer. He tells them that the one who dips into the dish with him is the very one.

There seems to be a little side note from the author that says “The Son of man indeed goeth, as it is written of him: but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! Good were it for that man if he had never been born.” I’ve always been really confused about this. Isn’t the way that JC says everybody’s soul by dying in this brutal and horrific manner, so isn’t the person that betrays him culpable for all that? I mean, why is he the bad guy, without him, would people even be saved. (I’ll wait until JC is dying on the cross to voice my concerns about how this whole “saving” process works).

Anyway, back to the story. Jesus took the bread, blessed it, broke it and gave it to them to eat. According to Mark he says, “Take, eat: this is my body.” He kind of sounds like a troglodyte or some other caveman. In the church I grew up going to (yeah, I know… me? Church? But still, there it is…) they used to say something much fancier. I think it was, take this all of you and eat it, for this is my body… something about it being the gift of true and everlasting life…. Eh, I don’t know. It was something more poetic.

Then he takes a cup and after he had given thanks he gave it to them and they drank from it. He tells them that this is his blood of the new testament which is shed for many.

JC isn’t going to drink any more wine until he’s risen to heaven (Yeay! They have wine in heaven!) Also, after he is risen from the dead he will appear before them in Galilee.

Peter (JC’s closest bud, as we well know) promises JC that even though everyone else will deny him, he definitely will not.

Jesus, every the prophetic skeptic says that before morning Petie will deny him, not once, not twice, but THREE times! Dun dun dunnnnnn!

Pete hates this idea. Even if he is going to die as well, he WILL NOT deny his mentor! Then, everyone jumps on board, no, no, we would never, let them kill us.

They all head over to a place called Gethsemane and he tells everyone to sit while he prays. He gathers his three favorites, Pete, of course, and the brothers John and James. He begins to feel sort of amazed that all this is happening and suddenly the weight of all of it hits him. He tells them that his “soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death”. I don’t blame him at all, that’s a real heavy price. He asks the boys to hang out and watch for a while.

Jesus goes forward a little and falls to the ground where he prays that this hour might pass. He begs his father whom all things are possible for to take this burden from him and promises that he will never be what he wants for himself, but will be in all things what his father wills. Poor Jesus, I feel terrible for him, he might be kind of an arrogant jerk, but death is too high a tax for that.

He finally stands up and finds his closest friends sleeping. Simon (that’s Peter) are you sleeping? Was an hour too much for you to watch over me? Bad friend, JC, I agree. He tells them to watch and pray so they will not be tempted. He says, as if to himself, the spirit is ready, it is only the flesh that is weak. I don’t know man, for me it would all be weak. He goes away again for a little more prayer and again asks his dad to lift this mantle from him.

When he comes back, they are asleep again (lazy dogs). When he speaks to them again they don’t know how to answer.

A third time he comes back and says to them. Okay, now you can continue sleeping, take rest. It’s enough now. I have been betrayed into the hands of sinners. No sooner had he spoken these words then Judas came out with a multitude bearing swords and staves with the chief priests, scribes and elders. Judas had told these folks that he would kiss the one who is Jesus.

Straightaway he went to JC and called him “master” twice before kissing him.

As soon as they saw this they grabbed Jesus and took him. One of the disciples drew a sword and “smote” a servant of the high priest and cut off his ear. Jesus asks his captors if they came out against him as though they were a thieves? He told them he was daily with them in the temple teaching them and they never took him. But it doesn’t matter, the scripture must be fulfilled.

All his friends took off like chickens with their necks cut off. Ahhhh! One man who had only been wearing a linen cloth to cover his body got so scared when one of captors grabbed him that he tore out of his clothes and took off naked!

Well, they lead Jesus away and all the chiefs and priests and everybody goes with him. Peter follows secretly behind them all the way to the palace where he hung out with the servants warming himself by the fire.

The priests look for some witnesses to testify against old JC so they could legally put him to death, but they couldn’t. A lot of people were willing to testify, but everyone seemed to have a different story. (That’s funny, I know a lot of people who are willing to testify for him… but THEY all have a different story). One person stands up and says that he heard him say “I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and within three days I will build another made without hands.” Wait, is that false witness… I thought I heard him say something similar to that. Wasn’t there something about all these stones crumbling and kingdom of heaven being better… something pretty close I think. But, I guess people (like me) couldn’t quite remember exactly what he said (that’s because he’s always talking in those annoying parables), so they couldn’t agree.

The high priest stood up and asked Jesus if he had anything to say to defend himself. But Jesus would not answer. The high priest asked him if he was the Christ, Son of the Blessed? JC says, Yup, and you’re going to see me sitting on the right hand of power coming in the clouds of heaven.

The high priest nearly has a heart attack on the spot. He tears his own clothes and asks why they need any more witnesses? Everyone heard this blasphemy. They all did, so they condemned him to death.

Some of those nasties hanging around spit on him (eeewww… how low class), some even slapped him in the face (well, at least they got spit on their hands.

One of the maids of the high priest comes down to the servants quarters and sees Pete getting all toasty by the fire. She asks him if he was with JC of Nazareth. But, he denies (as predicted) saying that he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He goes out for a breath of air and hears the cock crow.

The maid again sees him and says to the folks hanging aroung, that this guy is definitely one of them. But, Petie denies it again. And a little after they again say, listen fellow we can tell by your accent your Galilaean, we know you’re one of them. He starts swearing and cursing at them telling them that he doesn’t know who they’re talking about. Uh oh, Simon Peter, didn’t you promise JC something?

Well, he realizes that the cock has now crowed three times and he has in fact denied his friend and mentor that same number. Well, he cries and cries. Poor Peter, he’s never been the brightest.