Mark Chapter 13

Mark Chapter 13

Jesus leaves the temple and one of his disciples says to him, Hey JC, check out these stones and amazing buildings.

Jesus says, Oh yeah, you see these great buildings? Well there’s not going to be one stone in them left standing.

He then goes up to Mt. Olives near the temple where Peter (formerly Simon), James and John (our well known brothers) and Andrew (what some new guy in the close circle?) ask JC a private question. They want to know when all this stuff is going to happen and what sign they’ll have to know that everything has been fulfilled.

Jesus warns them that they must be extremely careful because a lot of people are going to try to trick them into believing that they’re in fact the Christ. But the disciples shouldn’t listen because JC is going to tell them everything.

When they hear about wars and even rumors of wars they shouldn’t be bothered because these are necessary things, but they are not the end (of the world, I’m assuming). Nation will rise against nation (duh, that’s happening when JC was alive, before and was alive, and naturally continues after he dies, no shock there). Kingdom will rise against kingdom, (let’s be honest, that’s just reiteration). There will be earthquakes all over the place, and famines and troubles (well, I hate to burst anyone’s biblical bubble, but all this stuff is the constant plight of us little human creatures on earth, none of that is new or developed after Jesus). But, these are the beginning of sorrows.

So, the way I see it the sorrows began basically when human beings evolved, possibly earlier.

Anyway, the four disciples are told to really be careful for their own little hides because they’re going to be delivered to the councils and then beaten in the synagogues. They’ll be brought before rulers and kings for Jesus’s sake for testimonies against them. Well, such is the price for following a cult leader I guess.

The gospel must first be published among all nations. Well, seems like we’ve managed to at least come pretty close to fulfilling one of JC’s wishes.

When they (uh… those council members maybe?) lead and deliver the disciples up (to the kings I guess?) they are not supposed to think about what they’re going to say. When they speak it will not be them but rather the Holy Ghost talking. Whoa! Spooky.

Now, onto the next topic. Brother shall betray brother to the death, fathers will betray their sons, and children will rise against their parents and cause them to be put to death. Yipes! That’s a lot of problems.

Apparently the disciples will be most hated above all other men for JC’s sake, but if they endure it they’ll be saved. Finally, at least one nice thing.

Well, it doesn’t stay kind for very long. Apparently they’re going to see the “abomination of desolation” and this, Jesus says was spoken of by Daniel the prophet (must be an old testament fellow because I don’t know much about him). I guess this desolation will be standing where it shouldn’t. Anyone who reads should understand this (Boo! I don’t!), but anyone that’s in Judaea should flee to the mountains. Look out Judaeans! Anyone who climbed up onto their roof shouldn’t go back into the house for any reason and he shouldn’t take anyone out of the house and onto the roof.

And woe to you if you’re with child (like me, right now!) or if you have an infant who is still breastfeeding. (He doesn’t tell you why you’re in trouble, but it doesn’t sound good for us new mummies).

Everyone should pray that this great running for your lives doesn’t happen in the winter. In these horrendous times there will be affliction greater than anything God has created up to this point (I’m still unclear when this point is… just after there’s war, earthquakes and published bibles?? Shouldn’t we all have experience this by now. No wonder some kooks are trying to tell us the rapture is coming in five days, why not?) Well turns out that along with all the affliction, etc… no one will be saved except for the elect who he has chosen. Apparently God has also shortened the days. If they’re going to be torturous at least they won’t be so long. I’m unclear on who these elect are… it sounds like only the disciples, but… I don’t know, maybe it’s just any convert. And it sounds like JC thinks this rapture is coming fairly soon after his death, and two thousand years later we’re still waiting.

Also, if anyone claims they’re JC, or they have a friend who is Christ don’t believe them. All kinds of false prophets are going to come and will try to show you signs and wonders, even the elect. (Nice way to ensure your legacy JC. Bravo for that piece of forethought.)

In the days after the tribulation (that being when no flesh is spared, etc.) the sun is going to darken, the moon won’t be lit, stars are going to fall from heaven (hmmm, those nifty suns millions of light years away are going to all fall out of orbit. I wonder where they’ll fall to), and all the powers in heaven shall be shaken, (does that include JC’s dad?).

But not to worry because everyone living in this dark time will see JC coming in the clouds, and he’s not going to be weak and sad looking, he’s going to be powerful and glorious… hooray! Then JC will send his angel friends will gather up his elect (I think those are the people he likes) from the four winds that come from the farthest points of earth and heaven. Ooo, sounds cool.

Okay, done with that, now it’s time to learn a parable about a fig tree. I hope it’s not how to wither a fig tree with your mind again, that really just disturbed be with its capriciousness.

The parable goes… when a fig trees branch is tender and has some leaves, that means that summer is near. (A valuable lesson JC could have learned before killing that poor tree that didn’t happen to be in season). Anyway, he explains that in a similar manner to knowing that summer is here when you see all these terrible things come to pass you will know that “it is nigh, [even] at the doors”. I’m just going to guess that’s some end of the world chatter.

Jesus says that this generation will not pass until all these things are done. Does that mean no one goes to heaven until all this stuff happens, or does that mean none of the people in that generation die until it happens. Maybe all this stuff has already happened and we of the 21st century don’t even have to worry about it any more. I know all that war and earthquake stuff occurs pretty regularly. I can’t really say about the sun darkening, etc… but maybe that’s just hyperbole. Could be an eclipse, right?

Oh, here’s a beauty to help explain it to me, “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.” Nice. So even heaven’s going down. In this case are we just talking like the universe style heaven, or god’s kingdom of heaven.

Now he tells them to take head because they won’t know when this day is coming. They should watch and pray.

The son of man (JC loves to refer to himself in the third person) is taking a far journey and he’s leaving his church/religion/teachings to his servants, and all his work to all men, and he commanded the porter to watch. Wait, who’s the porter?

He loves repetition, so he reminds them again to watch because they don’t know when God or JC is acoming… could be in the evening, could be at midnight, could be at dawn, or even in the morning. Uh oh… look out!

I guess, it’s bad if he catches you sleeping (so, are none of us supposed to sleep until the end of time?), so JC reminds you one more time to Watch (yup, it even got a capital letter in the King James Bible 1769 edition, which happens to be our bible of choice).