Mark Chapter 10

Mark Chapter 10

Jesus heads to the coasts of Judaea near the far side of Jordon and since a big group of people gathered around him he taught them “as he was wont”. The question of the day is, can a man divorce his wife?

JC asks what Moses told them and they respond that he did indeed write a “bill of divorcement”. Jesus, I imagine with some head shaking, tells that it only because they are hard people that Moses caved and wrote that. He says that when a man and a woman are joined in marriage they become one flesh and (he comes a famous line!!! Yeay!!!) “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” In other words, since they’re one being you can’t separate them. That’s what God says.
Yipes! That’s pretty strict. I have to tell you, I’m married, and I think we’re pretty close and certainly we love each other a lot, but I promise you we are NOT one person. We’re VERY different people, and people who are in the constant process of changing and evaluating our ever changing circumstances. Maybe that’s because we were only joined together by my sister by the power vested in her by Deval Patrick, Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts!

Well, I think everyone was a little shocked that JC took such a hard line on the issue because his disciples can’t quite let it go. They ask him again, and he repeats that if a dude divorces his wife and marries another he is committing adultery, likewise is a lady does the same, she’s committing adultery.

I think they just let that line of talk go, because suddenly some other people bring some children to Jesus so he can touch them and the disciples yell at them to stop bothering the man. JC doesn’t like that at all, he’s a big fan of kids (why just the other chapter he randomly put one in a circle and gave him a hug… a little creepy, sure, but it’s JC, he’s a nice dude. Uh, most of the time anyway). At any rate, he tells them that they shouldn’t forbid the children, they should put up with them because children make up the kingdom of God. Ah, I see… easy converts, being all young and innocent and all.

He then tells that that anyone who doesn’t receive god in the form of a child will not enter the kingdom of heaven. So, he gathers up all the little munchkins and blesses them. Yeay! Go kids!

When JC leaves one brave little soul follows him out and says, “Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” Jesus asks why the child refers to him as “good” since only god is good. As a side note, I think that’s really nice, because I would definitely NOT refer to Jesus as good. He seems like a deeply flawed individual and it’s so nice that he acknowledges that. Go JC, I like you better already, despite your very hard line on divorce and various other oddities that I’ve mentioned throughout these chapters. Anyway, Jesus doesn’t let the kid hang in suspense for very long, he tells him that the child knows what he must do. He just has to follow the simple commandments: don’t commit adultery, do not kill, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud anyone, and honor your mom and dad. (Apparently Jesus does not particularly care about the other four of the ten commandments… believing in only one god, doesn’t get a mention, neither does second commandment regarding imagery, apparently taking the Lord’s name in vain isn’t worth mentioning, and finally neither is the Sabbath day… but we kind of already knew how he felt about the Sabbath).

Well, the kids says, God damn it I’ve done all those things. (I’m just kidding, he doesn’t say “God damn it”, but he does say he’s remained faithful to the commandments). Jesus takes a look at the kid again and decides that he loves him. He tells him he only needs to give everything he owns to the poor, take up the cross and follow up. No need to worry, they’ll be treasures in heaven. My uncle used to tell me that line about treasures waiting for me in heaven whenever he didn’t have cash to pay me for babysitting his kids. Well Chardie, since you’re there now, you better be holding that treasure for me.

So, that kid is a little saddened by this last pronouncement because he has a lot of possession and he’s quite fond of them. He wanders away to grieve and presumably to contemplate whether following old JC is worth the price on Earth.

Jesus decides that this is a very teachable moment and asks his disciples how hard it is for those with riches to enter into heaven. His friends are shocked that he would ask, but he just asks again. When there is still no answer he finally tells them… this is a fabulous line that I have heard many times, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”

OMG! What?, cry the disciples, but like, who can get into heaven then? Again, I’m just going to say, JC may pick loyal friends, but he doesn’t pick the brightest cohorts.

Jesus answers them with and elusive phrase “with men [it is] impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” I guess that’s his vague way of saying do what I tell you and you’ll get into heaven, which is pretty much what he’s been saying since Chapter One, so I understand why he’s trying to think of new and clever ways of getting his point across. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times, the apostles are no geniuses.

Peter’s like, uh, dude, we’ve totally left everything we have to come follow you.

JC tells him that whatever you leave on this earth to follow him, you will receive a hundredfold in heaven, be it houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children or whatever. I don’t like this reward system, I’ve seen god in action with this nonsense in the old testament when he and the devil were making bets over Job’s loyalty. God killed his wife and kids and then later gave him a new wife and new children, as if people are just commodities that can easily be replaced. I mean, I love my family, I don’t want some new family to replace them, they are after all unique individuals that have meaningful relationships with me, and I don’t want a hundredfold of them. I only want the ones I have, but then again, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been real inclined to drop so much as a hammer to follow this guy, so that’s just me.

He then reminds them that whoever is first will be last and vice versa. Again, just incredibly fair practice.

With that concluded they head off to Jerusalem and on the way the disciples go through quiet a mix of emotions. They feel amazed, they feel afraid, they’re just kind of mess. JC decides he should let them in on a few things that are going to happen to them.

He’s going to be delivered to the priests and the scribes and be condemned to death, as he’s mentioned a few times before. Then they’ll hand him over to the Gentiles who with mock him, beat him, spit on him and finally kill him. But, not to worry because what’s going to happen? That’s right he’ll rise from the dead. When? The third day, of course. Hasn’t anyone been listening?

James and John approach Jesus and tell him that he should do whatever they want. (Pretty ballsy, no?) JC isn’t dumb like Herod, he’s a cagier type. Before agreeing he inquires what they’re looking for. They ask that one of them sits by his right hand and one by his left when they are in heaven (apparently there are some fairly strict seating arrangements up there… sounds like a boring dinner party, maybe it won’t be so bad for me burning with the worms!) JC goes off on a side track and asks if they can drink of his cup and be baptized like he was baptized. They’re respond that sure they can. JC’s like, yup, that’s true. I’m completely unclear why he solicited that information because he then tells him that seats in heaven are already assigned and he can’t give them out.

The other ten disciples (I imagine especially Simon/Peter who is JC’s very bestest in all the world) were pretty pissed at the brothers. But, Jesus call them all together to calm them down and goes on about the whole whoever is leader is servant of everyone deal that he already talked about. He emphasized his own leadership by saying that he didn’t come to be taught, but rather to teach (super openminded, right?), and that he is going to give his life as ransom for many. (One of my favorite biblical conundrums… how exactly does JC’s death save all those people’s souls?)

Anyway, off they head to Jericho where they and their huge legions of follows run into Bartimaeus who is a blind begger. He cries for Jesus to have mercy on him, and some folks tell him not to bother the man, but he doesn’t shut up (typical behavior for the beggars in my area). JC calls him over and asks what he wants. Take a guess what the guys is looking for. Jesus tells him that his faith has healed him and gives him his sight. Bartimaeus decided to follow JC with everyone else. No big loss for a beggar I would think, so far he’s only gained from the situation and had to give up nothing since he had nothing to begin with.

How do I feel about this chapter? Not as exciting as I would have liked and a little too mean to rich people. Just because you have a little cash doesn’t make you a bad person. I mean, I don’t have any money, but that sure the heck doesn’t make me a good person.