John Chapter 20

John Chapter 20

Mary Magdalene came early Monday morning when it was still dark to the sepulchre and saw that the stone had been moved from the entrance. She ran to Peter and to the imaginary disciple who John’s gospel tells us that Jesus loved and she said to them that JC had been taken out of the tomb and she didn’t know where he was.

Peter and the make believe disciple went forth and came to the sepulchre, both ran together, but the fake disciple outran Peter and came to the first sepulchre (the imaginary disciple is very competitive and vain… I’m not sure he’s really a very religious man at all). The imaginary beloved looked into the tomb and saw the linens but no body. Then Pete came in and saw the same. The napkin that had been on JC’s face was laying apart from the other linens. The other disciple immediately believed, but as of yet they didn’t know the scripture that JC must rise again from the dead. (Didn’t they know that? Really?)

They both went home, leaving poor Mary weeping by the tomb. She looked inside one more time and saw two angels in white sitting on at the head and one at the feet of the slab where JC had been. They asked her why she was weeping. She responded because that she cried because JC’s body had been stolen.

But as she turned around she saw Jesus standing, but she didn’t know it was him. He asked her why she was crying and who she was looking for. Mary thought he was the gardener so she asked if he knew where the body had been moved to.

Jesus called her by her name, and she instantly recognized him.

He told her not to touch him, but to go to his brethren and tell them that he is ascending to his Father.

Mary came and told the disciples what had happened. That evening, the disciples locked themselves in a house so the Jews wouldn’t find them and suddenly Jesus appeared in their midst. Peace be upon you, he told them. When he said this he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples were so happy to see him.

Jesus again said, peace be upon you. He then told them that he was sending them into the world as his father had sent him. When he said this, he breathed on them and told them to receive the Holy Ghost. Whoever sins you remit will be remitted for them, and if you say their sins are retained, then so be it, JC told them.

Thomas, also known as Didymus was not there when Jesus came. The other disciples told him the story about how they saw JC. Thomas said unless he could put his finger into JC’s hand wounds or thrust his hand into his side wound, he wouldn’t believe.

After eight days the disciples including Thomas were hanging out and Jesus came. He came directly to Tom and told him to put his finger into his hand, and his hand in his side so that he might believe.

Thomas didn’t need all that, he admitted that he believed.

Jesus said sure it’s great that you believed what you saw Thomas, but blessed are those who don’t need empirical proof.

Jesus did a bunch of other signs for his disciples “which are not written in this book”. But all this is written so that you can believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that in believing it you will have life through his name.

Well, I’ve learned that at least I’m not the only one who didn’t buy all this. Even the people who saw whatever was there didn’t all believe it. Sorry, but I think you’d have to be a bit nicer to make me a follower. Also, try not treating women like second class citizens and maybe I could consider the whole thing.

Ah my friends, you think we’re done, but not so. We still have ONE more chapter! Stay tuned.