Galatians Chapter 1

Galatians Chapter One
Paul, a very special apostle who wasn’t appointed by men but, of course, by JC and God… you remember, the dude who raised his boy from the dead.

And all the brethren who are with me to the churches of Galatia (what’s the matter, those sentences and transitions don’t make sense to you… well, what a shock. It’s the bible, no more can be expected from a book inspired from an omnipotent God, right?).

Grace be with you and also peace from God and JC, who gave himself for our sins so he could deliver us from this evil world, as was the will of his papa. To whom is the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

(Wow, these sentences are poor even for Paul… but he did write Galatians before he wrote Romans, so, maybe he hadn’t refined his literary technique yet… chuckle, snort, smirk).

I marvel that you have drifted so far from the grace of Christ and moved to another gospel (eh? What other gospel… maybe I’m interested in that one. Anything has to be better than this!). It’s not even another gospel, but there are some of you making trouble who would pervert the gospel of Christ. (What’s the matter Paul, are you made at people who actually think that rules are important and think that maybe following the law is a good plan… maybe they’re not into your anarchist methodology).

If anyone, even an angel from heaven, preaches any other gospel to you than the one that we have preached, let them be accursed. (What if God himself preaches another gospel, should he be cursed? Paul probably thinks so, he so f’ing arrogant).

For am I now supposed to persuade men or God? Or do I try to please men? If I have pleased men, then I am not the servant of Christ. But I promise you, brethren, that the gospel I preach is not from man. I didn’t receive it from man, nor was I taught, but I learned only from the revelation of JC.

You have heard of my conversation in the past about the Jews’ religion and how I persecuted beyond measure the churches of God and wasted it. And I profited in the Jews’ religion above many of my equals in my nation, being more zealous and traditional than my fathers.

But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb (really, God does that? Maybe he could think of a less painful and torturous way of removing these kids… I’ll let you know if three months or so how bad it is), and called me by his own grace, to reveal his Son in me so I could teach all the heathens.

Immediately I didn’t discuss this with mere mortals, nor did I go to Jerusalem to the apostles, but instead I went to Arabia and returned to Damascus. Then after three years I went to Jerusalem to see Pete, who I stayed with for fifteen days, but the only other apostle I say was James, JC’s mortal brother.

Now, I swear to God, I’m not lying about the things I’m writing to you.

After, I came into Syria and Cilicia and I was unknown by any of the people in the churches of Judaea which had already become Christian. However, they had heard that a man that had previously persecuted them was now preaching the faith he’d once tried to destroy.

They glorified God in me.

Fabulous Paulie. Fabulous and oh so humble. You’ve just got to love it. You freakin’ nutcase!