Philippians Chapter 1
Paul and Timotheus, the servants of good old JC are writing this little mistle to all the saints of JC who are residing in Philippi, with the bishops and the deacons.
Grace be given to y’ll, and peace from God and his boy JC. I think my God every time I think of you (oh Paul, you sweetie!). I always pray joyfully for all of you and for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now. I’m confident that everyone who is performing good works will continue to do so until the day old JC returns.
It’s awesome that I can think of yall like this even as I suffer in my bondage as I defend and confirm the gospel, you all are partaking of my grace. (How lovely of you to say Paulie).
God knows how greatly I long for you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ (er? Eh? Bowels?)
I pray that your love will show in all your knowledge and all your judgments, so that you can approve things that are excellent, and so that you can be sincere and without offence until JC comes back to earth.
You are filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are given by JC, and used in the glory and praise of his dad.
I wish you would understand, brethren, that the things that happened to me are actually furtherance of the gospel. My bonds in Christ are manifest in all the palace and in all places. Many brethren of the Lord have gained more confidence because of my bondage, and can now speak the word more boldly and without fear. (Yeah, that totally sounds likely and makes perfect sense, right?)
Some folks preach about JC because they’re so jealous of me, but some actually do it out of good will. The one that preaches out of contention with me, things that they are adding affliction to my bondage, but the other who does it out of love knows that I am here to defend the gospel.
What then? (Love Paulie’s rhetorical questions. I missed them, when I took a break from translating this garbage). Well, no matter what the reason for preaching about JC, I am happy and rejoice. I know that I will be saved through your prayer and JC’s Spirit.
According to my earnest expectation and hope, I won’t be ashamed, but will be bold, so that Christ can be magnified in my body whether in life or death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain (say what now?).
If I live then this is the fruit of my labor, but I don’t know what I will choose (Paul… I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think it’s your choice whether you live or die.)
I am stuck between these two things, because I have a desire to die and be with JC which like the most awesome, but to continue living would better fill your needs. Knowing that I don’t care whether I live or die, I know that I shall stay with you to help further your faith and joy. I think that you’ll love JC more if I can come to you again.
Let your conversation be like the gospel of JC, so that whether I am able to see you again or not, I can hear of what you’re up to. Stand in one spirit and with one mind to further the gospel.
Don’t be scared of your enemies no matter what, because then they’ll know that they’re going to be punished, and you’ll know that you’ll be saved by God.
It’s your job not just to believe in JC, but also to suffer for him. I know you’re going through the same struggle I had, so I’m telling you that I struggled the same as you.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Ephesians Chapter 6
Ephesians Chapter 6
Kids, obey your parents in the Lord. This is the right thing to do. Honor your mom and dad, which, as you know is the first commandment (except according to the King James Bible when it’s don’t have any gods before me… but whatever, the new testament hasn’t gotten that right once so why should it start now. You would think in the hundreds of years of editing, they could just once fix some of the inconsistency). You’ll be happy if you do this and live a long life on earth.
And, papas, don’t provoke your children to anger. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Servants, be obedient to your masters according to this world, obey them with fear and trembling in your heart, just as you would Christ. (Brilliant advice… and that’s sarcasm in case it doesn’t translate). Don’t do this just to seem pleasing, but be honest as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart, with good will at your service as to the Lord and not to men.
Know that whatever good thing any man does, he will receive something from god, whether he’s a slave or free.
And you who are masters, do the same things to your servants. Don’t threaten them, know that your Master is in heaven and he won’t respect you.
Finally, brethren, be strong in the Lord and know his might. Put on the whole armor of god so you can stand up to the devil.
We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principles, powers, and against the rulers of darkness in this world, even against spiritual wickedness in high places.
So, take up the whole armor of God so you can withstand the evil that’s coming, and be sure you have done everything you can to be able to stand.
Stand with your loins girdled in truth and have a breastplace of righteousness, and put shoes of the gospel of peace on your feet. Above all, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to defend yourself against the fiery darts of the wicked. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which also happens to be the word of God.
Pray always with supplication of spirit, and watch with perseverance and supplication for saints.
And for me, I have been given the gift to speak boldly and make the gospel known. I am an ambassador in bonds, but I will speak boldly as I ought to.
But so that you can also know of my affairs and how I’m doing, Tychicus, a beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord will make these things known to you. I have sent him for that purpose and so he can comfort your hearts.
Peace be to the brethren and love with faith from God and JC.
Grace be with all of them that love JC sincerely. Amen.
This was written to the Ephesians from Rome by Tychicus.
(And thus concludes Ephesians. Yet another book finished for me… and I am no closer to understanding why people would ever believe in this madness or what they can possibly get out of it without a tremendous amount of suspending all logic. It becomes less and less interesting as I go on… but go on I will.)
Kids, obey your parents in the Lord. This is the right thing to do. Honor your mom and dad, which, as you know is the first commandment (except according to the King James Bible when it’s don’t have any gods before me… but whatever, the new testament hasn’t gotten that right once so why should it start now. You would think in the hundreds of years of editing, they could just once fix some of the inconsistency). You’ll be happy if you do this and live a long life on earth.
And, papas, don’t provoke your children to anger. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Servants, be obedient to your masters according to this world, obey them with fear and trembling in your heart, just as you would Christ. (Brilliant advice… and that’s sarcasm in case it doesn’t translate). Don’t do this just to seem pleasing, but be honest as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart, with good will at your service as to the Lord and not to men.
Know that whatever good thing any man does, he will receive something from god, whether he’s a slave or free.
And you who are masters, do the same things to your servants. Don’t threaten them, know that your Master is in heaven and he won’t respect you.
Finally, brethren, be strong in the Lord and know his might. Put on the whole armor of god so you can stand up to the devil.
We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principles, powers, and against the rulers of darkness in this world, even against spiritual wickedness in high places.
So, take up the whole armor of God so you can withstand the evil that’s coming, and be sure you have done everything you can to be able to stand.
Stand with your loins girdled in truth and have a breastplace of righteousness, and put shoes of the gospel of peace on your feet. Above all, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to defend yourself against the fiery darts of the wicked. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which also happens to be the word of God.
Pray always with supplication of spirit, and watch with perseverance and supplication for saints.
And for me, I have been given the gift to speak boldly and make the gospel known. I am an ambassador in bonds, but I will speak boldly as I ought to.
But so that you can also know of my affairs and how I’m doing, Tychicus, a beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord will make these things known to you. I have sent him for that purpose and so he can comfort your hearts.
Peace be to the brethren and love with faith from God and JC.
Grace be with all of them that love JC sincerely. Amen.
This was written to the Ephesians from Rome by Tychicus.
(And thus concludes Ephesians. Yet another book finished for me… and I am no closer to understanding why people would ever believe in this madness or what they can possibly get out of it without a tremendous amount of suspending all logic. It becomes less and less interesting as I go on… but go on I will.)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Ephesians Chapter 5
Ephesians Chapter 5
Act as children would to their father and follow god. Walk in love, just as JC loved us and gave himself to us as and offering and sacrifice to his papa like a sweetsmelling savour (ergh, yeah rotting corpse… delicious).
But don’t fornicate or be unclean (except for not washing your hands, I distinctly recall JC saying it was cool if you didn’t want to wash your hands), or be covetous. Act as the saints do.
Don’t give in to filthiness (unless you count not bathing, because that’s no big thing), or foolish talking (how can I determine if my talk is foolish or not, I wonder. I’ll assume that all of it is), or jesting (what? No jokes! Does that mean my asides are going to have to stop) because none of these things are convenient (I’m not sure that’s really the word he’s looking for. I find filth and foolishness and joking all very convenient. Oops…no more asides!). But rather, you should give thanks.
These things you know: no whoremonger, unclean person, covetous man (covetous women are okay, I guess… damn it! No more asides!), or idolaters will inherit the kingdom of JC and his papa.
Don’t let any man deceive you with vain words! God will punish all his little disobedient children with his wrath! So don’t get mixed up with these folks!
See, you all used to be bad and live in the darkness, but now you walk as little children in the light of good old god. The fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness and truth and therefore proves what is acceptable to the god. (struggling… not… to… comment…. Ergh… okay… moving… on).
Don’t have any friendship with works of darkness, but instead rebuke them! It is shameful even to speak of those things which of done in secret (uh oh, does Paul have some skeletons in his closet… damn it! Silence!).
All nasty little secrets will be brought into the light of day by god. He said, Awake those of you who are sleeping, and arise from the dead. My boy JC is going to give you light.
So, walk circumspectly, don’t be foolish, be wise. Redeem time, because the days are evil. But you are wise is you understand the will of the Lord. Don’t get drunk on wine, that’s excessive. Instead let yourself be filled with the Spirit.
Recite to yourselves psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Always give thanks to God in the name of JC.
You should also submit yourselves to one another in the fear of God.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you would to God. (Erghhh… I think not my friends. I can’t even stand that any woman who even consider believing in a nonsensical people of trash like this! It is written by some idiot mortal guy who didn’t even know Jesus, and he’s telling your to treat your husband like god. Bullshit! I’m sorry. I call Bullshit! Ugh. Everytime I think this stupid book can’t make me any more angry it manages to do exactly that)! For the husband is head of the wife, just like JC is head of the Church and he is the savior of the body.
Therefore the church is subject to JC, so wives she be subject to their husbands in everything. (Oh, I see, it now makes perfect sense. Wait, why are we subjecting ourselves to someone else’s whims? Have we no minds of our own? Errrrrrrrrr, my blood is boiling. I honestly don’t know that I can make it through the next ten lines of this ridiculous chapter).
Husbands, you should love your wives, just like Christ loved the Church and gave himself to it, so he could sanctify if and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. So he could present to himself a glorious church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but it should be holy and without blemish.
Men out to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. (Oh well, as long as he loves me then I have no need to have a will of my own. Sigh. Faint. … Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr).
No man has hated his own flesh (excuse me, you must not get out much. I know plenty of people….), but he nourishes it and cherishes it, even as the Lord does with the Church.
We are members of his holy body, his own flesh, and even his bones. It’s because of this that a man should leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife and the two of them shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery, but I am authorized to speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you love his wife as himself, and wives, revere your husbands.
(No thanks! I’ll pass on all this bullshit. I prefer to have a nice equal relationship with my husband. Errrr. People listen to this junk? I mean, they actually believe it? I just find that so inconceivable).
Act as children would to their father and follow god. Walk in love, just as JC loved us and gave himself to us as and offering and sacrifice to his papa like a sweetsmelling savour (ergh, yeah rotting corpse… delicious).
But don’t fornicate or be unclean (except for not washing your hands, I distinctly recall JC saying it was cool if you didn’t want to wash your hands), or be covetous. Act as the saints do.
Don’t give in to filthiness (unless you count not bathing, because that’s no big thing), or foolish talking (how can I determine if my talk is foolish or not, I wonder. I’ll assume that all of it is), or jesting (what? No jokes! Does that mean my asides are going to have to stop) because none of these things are convenient (I’m not sure that’s really the word he’s looking for. I find filth and foolishness and joking all very convenient. Oops…no more asides!). But rather, you should give thanks.
These things you know: no whoremonger, unclean person, covetous man (covetous women are okay, I guess… damn it! No more asides!), or idolaters will inherit the kingdom of JC and his papa.
Don’t let any man deceive you with vain words! God will punish all his little disobedient children with his wrath! So don’t get mixed up with these folks!
See, you all used to be bad and live in the darkness, but now you walk as little children in the light of good old god. The fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness and truth and therefore proves what is acceptable to the god. (struggling… not… to… comment…. Ergh… okay… moving… on).
Don’t have any friendship with works of darkness, but instead rebuke them! It is shameful even to speak of those things which of done in secret (uh oh, does Paul have some skeletons in his closet… damn it! Silence!).
All nasty little secrets will be brought into the light of day by god. He said, Awake those of you who are sleeping, and arise from the dead. My boy JC is going to give you light.
So, walk circumspectly, don’t be foolish, be wise. Redeem time, because the days are evil. But you are wise is you understand the will of the Lord. Don’t get drunk on wine, that’s excessive. Instead let yourself be filled with the Spirit.
Recite to yourselves psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Always give thanks to God in the name of JC.
You should also submit yourselves to one another in the fear of God.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you would to God. (Erghhh… I think not my friends. I can’t even stand that any woman who even consider believing in a nonsensical people of trash like this! It is written by some idiot mortal guy who didn’t even know Jesus, and he’s telling your to treat your husband like god. Bullshit! I’m sorry. I call Bullshit! Ugh. Everytime I think this stupid book can’t make me any more angry it manages to do exactly that)! For the husband is head of the wife, just like JC is head of the Church and he is the savior of the body.
Therefore the church is subject to JC, so wives she be subject to their husbands in everything. (Oh, I see, it now makes perfect sense. Wait, why are we subjecting ourselves to someone else’s whims? Have we no minds of our own? Errrrrrrrrr, my blood is boiling. I honestly don’t know that I can make it through the next ten lines of this ridiculous chapter).
Husbands, you should love your wives, just like Christ loved the Church and gave himself to it, so he could sanctify if and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. So he could present to himself a glorious church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but it should be holy and without blemish.
Men out to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. (Oh well, as long as he loves me then I have no need to have a will of my own. Sigh. Faint. … Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr).
No man has hated his own flesh (excuse me, you must not get out much. I know plenty of people….), but he nourishes it and cherishes it, even as the Lord does with the Church.
We are members of his holy body, his own flesh, and even his bones. It’s because of this that a man should leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife and the two of them shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery, but I am authorized to speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you love his wife as himself, and wives, revere your husbands.
(No thanks! I’ll pass on all this bullshit. I prefer to have a nice equal relationship with my husband. Errrr. People listen to this junk? I mean, they actually believe it? I just find that so inconceivable).
Monday, August 15, 2011
Ephesians Chapter 4
Ephesians Chapter 4
I, the prisoner of the Lord, encourage you to make yourselves worthy of the vocation to which you have been called, with humility and meekness, with longsuffering, and give up one another in love (whoa, is this where we come up with the priests shouldn’t marry nonsense? Just from some stupid letter that Paul wrote? I don’t really think that’s a commandment from God). Try to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.
There is one body and one Spirit, even as you hope for your calling. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God who is Father of everyone. He is above all, and throughout everything, and he’s in all of you (not me, I hope!).
But every one of us is given grace according to Christ’s whim. He said, when he ascended up to heaven that “he led captivity captive” (riddle me this Batman? What’s with all the prisoner talk in this little episode. All of a sudden Paul is a prisoner of God, Jesus is leading captives while in captivity… I think the dude might be losing his mind in prison. I assume he’s in prison as he writes this or he’s just a freak show), and JC gave gifts to men.
Now that he ascended, it only makes sense that he first descended into the lower parts of the earth? (the liquid magma?) He that descended is the same dud who also ascended far above the heavens so he could fill up all the space in the universe.
And he gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and even some pastors and teachers. All these were given so they could help the saints become more perfect for God’s ministry and also for the edification of Christ.
These will all be around until we all come into the unity of the faith and know the Son of God who is a perfect man, and we should know the measure of the stature of the fullness of JC (does that mean his height and weight?)
Then we will no longer be children who are tossed to and fro and carried about with eery wind of doctrine by the men with cunning and craftiness who are lying in wait to deceive us. But we should speak the truth in love, so that we can grow up into him in all things, the head of which is our pal JC.
It is from him that the whole body fits together and gets compacted with joints, and every part works effectively together to increase the body and edify this love.
Therefore I say this, and I testify to the Lord, that from now on Gentiles won’t walk as others, in the vanity of their mind (God hates logic… almost as much as he loves his money… oops, did I say that?), having their understanding darkened, and being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them because of the blindness of their hearts. These folks have moved passed feeling and have given themselves over to lasciviousness to work only on unclean things and with greediness.
But you have not learned enough about Christ. If you’ve heard him and been taught by him as the truth is in Jesus, then you don’t have to worry about the things I was just mentioning, because all that is corrupt and succumbs to deceitful lusts. You can be renewed, you are a new man who acts as God wants and is created in righteousness and true holiness. So, put away your lying, speak only truth to your neighbor, for we’re all members of one another.
Be angry, but don’t sin and don’t let the sun set on your anger. Don’t give the devil a place. Don’t let anyone who steals steal anymore, let him labor, let him work with his hands in something good so that he can have what he needs. Don’t let corrupt communication come out of your mouth, but only speak good things so that you can minister grace to the hearers.
Don’t grieve the holy spirit who you are sealed with until the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking leave you, and also get rid of your malice.
Be kind to one another, be tenderhearted and forgiving, just as God has forgiven you.
I, the prisoner of the Lord, encourage you to make yourselves worthy of the vocation to which you have been called, with humility and meekness, with longsuffering, and give up one another in love (whoa, is this where we come up with the priests shouldn’t marry nonsense? Just from some stupid letter that Paul wrote? I don’t really think that’s a commandment from God). Try to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.
There is one body and one Spirit, even as you hope for your calling. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God who is Father of everyone. He is above all, and throughout everything, and he’s in all of you (not me, I hope!).
But every one of us is given grace according to Christ’s whim. He said, when he ascended up to heaven that “he led captivity captive” (riddle me this Batman? What’s with all the prisoner talk in this little episode. All of a sudden Paul is a prisoner of God, Jesus is leading captives while in captivity… I think the dude might be losing his mind in prison. I assume he’s in prison as he writes this or he’s just a freak show), and JC gave gifts to men.
Now that he ascended, it only makes sense that he first descended into the lower parts of the earth? (the liquid magma?) He that descended is the same dud who also ascended far above the heavens so he could fill up all the space in the universe.
And he gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and even some pastors and teachers. All these were given so they could help the saints become more perfect for God’s ministry and also for the edification of Christ.
These will all be around until we all come into the unity of the faith and know the Son of God who is a perfect man, and we should know the measure of the stature of the fullness of JC (does that mean his height and weight?)
Then we will no longer be children who are tossed to and fro and carried about with eery wind of doctrine by the men with cunning and craftiness who are lying in wait to deceive us. But we should speak the truth in love, so that we can grow up into him in all things, the head of which is our pal JC.
It is from him that the whole body fits together and gets compacted with joints, and every part works effectively together to increase the body and edify this love.
Therefore I say this, and I testify to the Lord, that from now on Gentiles won’t walk as others, in the vanity of their mind (God hates logic… almost as much as he loves his money… oops, did I say that?), having their understanding darkened, and being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them because of the blindness of their hearts. These folks have moved passed feeling and have given themselves over to lasciviousness to work only on unclean things and with greediness.
But you have not learned enough about Christ. If you’ve heard him and been taught by him as the truth is in Jesus, then you don’t have to worry about the things I was just mentioning, because all that is corrupt and succumbs to deceitful lusts. You can be renewed, you are a new man who acts as God wants and is created in righteousness and true holiness. So, put away your lying, speak only truth to your neighbor, for we’re all members of one another.
Be angry, but don’t sin and don’t let the sun set on your anger. Don’t give the devil a place. Don’t let anyone who steals steal anymore, let him labor, let him work with his hands in something good so that he can have what he needs. Don’t let corrupt communication come out of your mouth, but only speak good things so that you can minister grace to the hearers.
Don’t grieve the holy spirit who you are sealed with until the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking leave you, and also get rid of your malice.
Be kind to one another, be tenderhearted and forgiving, just as God has forgiven you.
Ephesians Chapter 3
Ephesians Chapter 3
For this reason, I Paul, the prisoner of JC for you Gentiles (what? What? JC took Paul prisoner? Since when?), if you have heard have heard the dispensation related to God’s grace that was given to me to give to you (yeah, none of these are complete sentences. Sorry. Paul’s grammar is terrible. So terrible in fact that hundreds of translations still can’t improve it). You remember how I am special and received a revelation so I could know God’s mystery, I wrote this before in a few words, so you could read it and know that I have knowledge of the mystery of Christ (lucky Paul, I’ll never understand the mystery of how his dying on the cross does anything for anybody).
In other ages this special mystery wasn’t made known to the sons of men (I suppose these are different from the son of man who is JC, right?), but now it’s been revealed to JC’s holy apostles and other prophets by the Spirit (similar to the Great Pumpkin… oops, is that blaspheming the holy spirit again? Am I going to hell… AGAIN?) . The Gentiles should be heirs to JC along with the Jews. They should be of the same body and partake of JC’s promise through the gospel (which specific gospel was Paul referring to, I wonder).
I was made a minister, by the grace of God and the effectual workings of his power (well, I should hope so. I’d hate to think your almighty was ineffectual).
I am less than the least of the saints, but still grace was given to me so that I could preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ (do you think in this context unsearchable could be translated as illogical? Just curious.)
Also, I am here to make all men see the fellowship of this mystery that from the beginning of the world has been hidden in God who created all things by Jesus Christ (wait, huh? God made the world way before he made JC, right? And doesn’t that line my it seem like JC is more powerful than God. Also, I am curious where this idea of JC, God and the Holy Spirit being one entity came around. I feel like… and I may have to reread… what I’m getting from the bible is that they are three different entities. Eh… who knows? Questions for a future date.)
Now the prinicipalities and powers in heavenly places can be known by the church and so can the great wisdom of God, according to the eternal purpose that he used JC to show us.
It is in JC that we have boldness and can access with confidence faith in him.
I desire that you don’t worry about by tribulations for you, because it’s for your glory. For these reasons I bow my knees to the Father of JC, of whom the whole family in of his glory, that you will be strengthened by the might of his Spirit in your inner being.
Christ will dwell in your hearts if you have faith and are rooted and grounded in love. You might even be able to comprehend like the saints what is the breadth, the length, the depth and the height (of what… don’t know… maybe that’s just a bad edit from the old scribes).
And you’ll know the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge, so that you can be filled with the fullness of God.
Now we commend until him that is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in all of us.
Unto him is the glory in the church by JC throughout all ages. World without end. Amen
Thanks Paul, very informative. Ugh.
For this reason, I Paul, the prisoner of JC for you Gentiles (what? What? JC took Paul prisoner? Since when?), if you have heard have heard the dispensation related to God’s grace that was given to me to give to you (yeah, none of these are complete sentences. Sorry. Paul’s grammar is terrible. So terrible in fact that hundreds of translations still can’t improve it). You remember how I am special and received a revelation so I could know God’s mystery, I wrote this before in a few words, so you could read it and know that I have knowledge of the mystery of Christ (lucky Paul, I’ll never understand the mystery of how his dying on the cross does anything for anybody).
In other ages this special mystery wasn’t made known to the sons of men (I suppose these are different from the son of man who is JC, right?), but now it’s been revealed to JC’s holy apostles and other prophets by the Spirit (similar to the Great Pumpkin… oops, is that blaspheming the holy spirit again? Am I going to hell… AGAIN?) . The Gentiles should be heirs to JC along with the Jews. They should be of the same body and partake of JC’s promise through the gospel (which specific gospel was Paul referring to, I wonder).
I was made a minister, by the grace of God and the effectual workings of his power (well, I should hope so. I’d hate to think your almighty was ineffectual).
I am less than the least of the saints, but still grace was given to me so that I could preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ (do you think in this context unsearchable could be translated as illogical? Just curious.)
Also, I am here to make all men see the fellowship of this mystery that from the beginning of the world has been hidden in God who created all things by Jesus Christ (wait, huh? God made the world way before he made JC, right? And doesn’t that line my it seem like JC is more powerful than God. Also, I am curious where this idea of JC, God and the Holy Spirit being one entity came around. I feel like… and I may have to reread… what I’m getting from the bible is that they are three different entities. Eh… who knows? Questions for a future date.)
Now the prinicipalities and powers in heavenly places can be known by the church and so can the great wisdom of God, according to the eternal purpose that he used JC to show us.
It is in JC that we have boldness and can access with confidence faith in him.
I desire that you don’t worry about by tribulations for you, because it’s for your glory. For these reasons I bow my knees to the Father of JC, of whom the whole family in of his glory, that you will be strengthened by the might of his Spirit in your inner being.
Christ will dwell in your hearts if you have faith and are rooted and grounded in love. You might even be able to comprehend like the saints what is the breadth, the length, the depth and the height (of what… don’t know… maybe that’s just a bad edit from the old scribes).
And you’ll know the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge, so that you can be filled with the fullness of God.
Now we commend until him that is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in all of us.
Unto him is the glory in the church by JC throughout all ages. World without end. Amen
Thanks Paul, very informative. Ugh.
Ephesians Chapter 2
Ephesians Chapter 2
And you, who used to be dead and laden with sins and other crimes; in the past you were only concerned with the ways of the world, this is according to “the prince of the power of the air”, the spirit now works in the children of disobedience. This spirit is among us when we all had our conversation in the past about the lusts of the flesh, and fulfilling the desires of the flesh and also the mind. We were by nature, the children of wrath, just as others were.
God is rich is mercy and he has a great love for all of us, even when we were dead in our sins, he has saved us through Christ. And he raised us up together and made us sit in heavenly places with JC.
By grace you are saved through faith and it doesn’t come from you. It comes from God. It is not the works that you do, so don’t brag about that.
We are all creations of God, created in JC for good works that God has ordained before we ever do them.
Now remember, you were once Gentiles who focused on the flesh, but your are called to Uncircumcision (yup, that’s capitalized in the text), by the thing that is called Circumcision “in the flesh made by hands”. Back then, you were without Christ and were aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise. You had no home and were without a God who existed in the world.
Now in JC, you who were sometimes far off are made by his blood. He is our peace, he has made both one, and has broken down the middle the partition that once stood between us. He abolished in his flesh his enmity, even the commandments in the ordinances. He made in himself a new man, making peach so that he could reconcile both to God in body on the cross, having slain any enmity that existed.
He came and preached peace to you who were far off and to those that were near. Through him, we both have access by the Spirit to the Father.
Now you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but citizens with the saints and you are now of the household of God. You are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, JC himself is the chief corner stone. It is in him that the well framed building will grow into a holy temple for the Lord, and it is in him that you are also crafted into this building which is a habitation of God through the Spirit.
And you, who used to be dead and laden with sins and other crimes; in the past you were only concerned with the ways of the world, this is according to “the prince of the power of the air”, the spirit now works in the children of disobedience. This spirit is among us when we all had our conversation in the past about the lusts of the flesh, and fulfilling the desires of the flesh and also the mind. We were by nature, the children of wrath, just as others were.
God is rich is mercy and he has a great love for all of us, even when we were dead in our sins, he has saved us through Christ. And he raised us up together and made us sit in heavenly places with JC.
By grace you are saved through faith and it doesn’t come from you. It comes from God. It is not the works that you do, so don’t brag about that.
We are all creations of God, created in JC for good works that God has ordained before we ever do them.
Now remember, you were once Gentiles who focused on the flesh, but your are called to Uncircumcision (yup, that’s capitalized in the text), by the thing that is called Circumcision “in the flesh made by hands”. Back then, you were without Christ and were aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise. You had no home and were without a God who existed in the world.
Now in JC, you who were sometimes far off are made by his blood. He is our peace, he has made both one, and has broken down the middle the partition that once stood between us. He abolished in his flesh his enmity, even the commandments in the ordinances. He made in himself a new man, making peach so that he could reconcile both to God in body on the cross, having slain any enmity that existed.
He came and preached peace to you who were far off and to those that were near. Through him, we both have access by the Spirit to the Father.
Now you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but citizens with the saints and you are now of the household of God. You are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, JC himself is the chief corner stone. It is in him that the well framed building will grow into a holy temple for the Lord, and it is in him that you are also crafted into this building which is a habitation of God through the Spirit.
Ephesians Chapter 1
Ephesians Chapter 1
Here we go with our best friend Paul.
Paul, an apostle of old JC, is writing a letter to the saints who are at Ephesus, and also to the faithful flocks there:
Grace and peace to all yall from God and JC. Blessed be God who is the daddy of our lord, who blessed us with all the spiritual blessings in heaven.
He chose all of us before the world was founded so that we could be holy and without blame in loving him. He predestined us as the adopted children through JC to himself according to his own will. We should praise and give him glory because he’s accepted us as his beloved.
In JC we have redemption through blood and forgiveness of our sins according to the bounty of his grace. He has given us all kinds of wisdom and prudence. He made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his pleasure, this is why he made himself.
When the right time comes, he’ll gather together all things in Christ, including everything in heaven and everything on earth. In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the one who works all things and counsels of his own will. We should praise and glory those who first trusted in JC.
Also we should praise all of you who trusted after you heard the word of truth and the gospel of your salvation. After you believed your were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, which is the true inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession. Praise and glory.
After I heard about your faith in JC and your love of all the saints, I couldn’t stop giving thanks for you and I mention you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our lord JC, the Father of glory, will give you the spirit of wisdom and the revelation of knowledge of him. Once you have been enlightened, I hope that you will know what hope exists in his calling, and that you will know the riches of his inheritance in the saints.
I also want you to understand the exceeding greatness of his power to those of us who believe, according to the working of his power which he showed us in JC when he raised him from the dead and set him at his own right hand in heaven.
He is far above all principality, power, might, dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in the next. And he has put all things under his feet and made him head over all things to the church which is his body and the fullness of him that fills in everything.
Here we go with our best friend Paul.
Paul, an apostle of old JC, is writing a letter to the saints who are at Ephesus, and also to the faithful flocks there:
Grace and peace to all yall from God and JC. Blessed be God who is the daddy of our lord, who blessed us with all the spiritual blessings in heaven.
He chose all of us before the world was founded so that we could be holy and without blame in loving him. He predestined us as the adopted children through JC to himself according to his own will. We should praise and give him glory because he’s accepted us as his beloved.
In JC we have redemption through blood and forgiveness of our sins according to the bounty of his grace. He has given us all kinds of wisdom and prudence. He made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his pleasure, this is why he made himself.
When the right time comes, he’ll gather together all things in Christ, including everything in heaven and everything on earth. In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the one who works all things and counsels of his own will. We should praise and glory those who first trusted in JC.
Also we should praise all of you who trusted after you heard the word of truth and the gospel of your salvation. After you believed your were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, which is the true inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession. Praise and glory.
After I heard about your faith in JC and your love of all the saints, I couldn’t stop giving thanks for you and I mention you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our lord JC, the Father of glory, will give you the spirit of wisdom and the revelation of knowledge of him. Once you have been enlightened, I hope that you will know what hope exists in his calling, and that you will know the riches of his inheritance in the saints.
I also want you to understand the exceeding greatness of his power to those of us who believe, according to the working of his power which he showed us in JC when he raised him from the dead and set him at his own right hand in heaven.
He is far above all principality, power, might, dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in the next. And he has put all things under his feet and made him head over all things to the church which is his body and the fullness of him that fills in everything.
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